Love’s Decay and Fury

This poem is affected by all the dark news on television this week. God bless all of us who have lost someone too soon. I could of left this as a draft but decided to to post anyway.
Those new to the site (I love you followers btw) this version of the site was started for a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer 1/1/19. She asked if I could simply post a poem a day, as it helps her get through stuff.
I have her permission to update. The cancer is in her lung (inoperable) and has gotten larger. She’s a teacher on Hawaii and since this is her second go around with this cancer, there are no more sick days. She’s important to me simply because of our friendship. All of us have these friends in our lives. Love them.

If I could have yesterday back
I would know how to react
after hearing the news.
Whenever we love this way
on the outside anyway,
it’s always a bitter taste
we try and swallow.
Still, no one would ever imagine
loving someone this way,
that word, in and of itself
would cause a lifetime of damage
if they were to ever go away.
There’s something different
about a diagnosis
like it gives us time to prepare.
Here today, I won’t question
we lost this part of us
taken away and swallowed up.
I won’t judge
all the choices or decisions
that will turn out to be
my choking hazards.
This time, I’ll come clean
and be the first to imagine
a single day without you,
how awfully quiet
to come out and pay attention.
I am your beautiful ransom
you can easily afford,
each day you pay the price
constantly reading my words
I’m thankful for you.
Even though, you’re technically
not allowed to cry
I still want to see
that look on your face.
So when you’re told of the news
I keep holding out hope,
that someday,
you’ll look at me
the same way, everything is ok
the thing has shrunk
you’re like everyone else.
The tragic news of today
plays out everywhere
it’s all too tragic to imagine
someone is making this up.
From inside today’s love story
there is this sickness
a romance wrought with decay
flowers lay unused.
This forbidden truth
never using that four letter word,
unless of course,
you intend on wearing
one of those surgical masks.
I feel something altogether different
pinned and pried to a fence
arms outstretched held in place.
I could lie like this for centuries
telling anyone who would listen,
she has this amazing sense
maybe then I’d get the full benefit
of having your attention
so all the others would know
I didn’t tie you up this way.
We can easily lay awake
and watch the news on tv
let decay pile up on them,
just not us today.
I can see just one other way
even as hopeless as it sounds
we can throw everything away
starve ourselves from all interaction
driving each other mad with fury.
We’d let our hunger meet our demands
and just in case we were being ignored
we’d turn the music up really loud
and bother the fuck
out of our neighbors.
So the lump hasn’t shrunk
it’s another year of fighting
I’m here to tell you right now
if you even think
of being on the tv news
you’ve got another thing coming.

2 thoughts on “Love’s Decay and Fury

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