It was always her idea
to want to sit and meet with him.
To sit, and explain why
no one understood
how it was to feel.
To sit with him
not as equals,
but both playing a certain part.
The object of her interest
was to explore
what she had always known in her heart.
That tepid sort of fever
just before one succumbs
to that dangerous sickness.
This blind interest
to please
was probably misguided from the start.
This wanting
and giving of herself
was probably something all together different.
Something was missing in her.
Indifferent,
was the proper explanation
for this curious girl
that hadn’t ever given
in a way that was unfamiliar or unknown.
Who could blame her after all
the lifestyle is like a black eye.
If you’ve ever asked yourself,
the true ringer of an answer
has always been
we tend to fix whatever the problem is
by making an even bigger mess of things.
So she reached out to Him
and in doing so
she was being asked
are you sure
you want things expected of you?
Without a seconds hesitation
she nodded, yes.
Everything always starts with the lessons
the traditional bookwork
where one could show off her
academic prowess.
And without giving too much over
he spelled out how her studies
would need to work.
What came next and followed
was plain speak
the familiar unpolished model
where the easiest of things
became this monumental struggle,
he was disappointed by this one.
Without any real fire or burn
it was impossible for him
to keep the flame of attention lit.
Without an ounce of fight
he let the once promising candle
simple extinguish itself.
Missed expectations
not just once or twice
it was an entrenched habit with her.
From a series of useless excuses
it made one wonder if
the ideals set out in the lessons
are simply impossible to reach
especially when we live
in a world of missing details.
