Overdose

My favorite drug of choice
the poisonous kiss
coming from the girl
who wishes to do me harm.
Her fire drug
burns feverish
this I already know
I need her love
to extinguish flames
ablaze behind my eyes.
It’s only then
when she whispers certain words
the pulse in my veins
begins to settle and
I feel warm again.
It’s just easier
to float through life
counting down the hours
until that next fix.
It’s only when I
get all strung out
all good reason goes away
I’m at my weakest point
like yesterday
when she called.
I start to fantasize,
just one tiny sip won’t hurt
I could promise and swear
to give up and stay away.
Today she’s in my head
I thought I would forget
the sound of her voice,
I know it’s no use really
thinking I don’t love her.
I can still feel her mouth
close enough to a whisper
that craving ache is in there
in every ounce of my being
she’s the only one
swimming inside me.
I hate myself
I gave up and answered,
letting myself go on like this
standing on the edge
I was warned
her voice could trigger all this
the torturous pain
of needing someone else.
It’s been years
since I’ve been in her embrace
I’d almost convinced myself
I’ve moved on from her grasp
until yesterday,
she gave me another taste.
I could instantly smell perfume
my memory trigger
I fell speechless and quiet
listening to her voice
how I’ve fucking missed her.
Taking in the deepest inhale.
There is no strength in me
to fight off this addiction
even after a thousand yesterdays.
Today I’d gladly give up my wrist
let love crawl right back in
this time I’m afraid
I might just
overdose.

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