Ahead Again

I can’t wait to run up to the girl
the one who’s currently
giving herself away,
some could say for free.
The thrill in the sex hours,
lost somewhere in my head
I was thinking about forever,
it’s been some time since
we sat across one another
avoiding those judgmental eyes
that can’t seem to understand my side.
She’s always fought with me
to get back on track.
She says the right start is oh so critical.
In her eyes anyway,
and since I can’t quite sleep anymore
she’s all I care about right now.
Hooking up is a thrill,
she makes me pledge
swear on this super strict allegiance,
never to share this world with others,
this, tender flexing bond that’s in us.
With no interruptions,
I quickly sign her document
some could say is unconventional.
Anyway, I’m ahead again,
she’s firmly stuck in my head
it’s worth repeating.
She adores trying to figure us out,
come and play with me
aggressively in bed and stuff
pin her perfect set of shoulders, firmly.
She begs and wants to be proper
in a way that comes across
like some naturally occuring act.
Love naturally happens
that powerful lustful wanting
clouding all good judgement
my muse is showered in attention.
Maybe you the reader,
haven’t been properly taken.
Compare that inner filter
that voice that balances you
from slipping, making certain choices.
To one day waking up
being completely void and missing
like you ever knew it was there at all.
You can’t quite judge us anymore,
the right from wrong anymore,
especially when you look back
and your old self is so unrecognizable
there’s no more making sense
of time and attention anymore.
Your mind is flooded looking back
with that one person who’s allowed
to do whatever, however, they choose.
It’s hard to listen to this message
be careful how you
give yourself away for free now,
especially now since
time is so fucked up.
My advice,
get ahead again
make you the priority of self,
start healing yourself,
from this day forward
no more stupid mistakes
we both know
you’re so willingly
going to make.

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