Buried in bed alongside her
a girl twists the sheets,
she can’t stop smiling,
her tourniquet is tied tightly
around our waists.
She wants an answer,
it’s impossible to say no to that.
She frantically looks for nail polish
and insists I’m in charge
for how her toes looks tonight.
She asks why I have to love her?
Very carefully, I place tissue paper
in-between her toes
and I paint them.
She loves this kind of attention,
especially since she’s been the focus
of all the words.
She asks again, why do I love her?
Perhaps she’s begging to beg,
I concentrate on her French manicure.
I can’t just spit it out,
she smears her toes with a quick swipe.
There’s too much glass in my mouth,
why can’t these poems be enough?
It’s hard to face up and admit
I’m lost without her.
It’s not all that easy
searching the streets for her,
the nights have been sharp lately.
She asks why I love her,
and this time she wants a real answer,
before I do, she admits
she can’t let go either.
Fine, I dip the tiny brush,
I can’t say no to you.
It’s too dangerous to trust
In what I’m feeling is real.
You could put an end to me.
I’ve finished painting her toes,
I’m now blowing on them.
Do you know how fucked I’d be
if you decided to just up and leave?
How we’ve been,
it’s a drug we can’t get enough of,
no quantity satisfies the ache.
I have feelings for you.
I love you, you’re the girl.
She wants to paint my toes, she explains,
I’m all numb trying to apply nail polish.
She asks for a mirror,
I want to watch your face as I paint.
She admires I’ve kept my promises.
She starts by admitting,
her treasure chest has been stolen.
You too, are inside my veins,
she softly tickles my foot
to get me to smile.
It’s hard to imagine
the fire you put in me, ever going out.
She flips the colors
on the French manicure on me.
Don’t ever worry about me
shutting you out.
I want you painting my toes
however you want.
Understand that I am the one,
who is the vulnerable one here.